So I Says to Maybel, I Says...

The blue line

Found this on the front page of Google News. Another Grinnellian in a slightly more dubious limelight. We're all glad you're alright, Marti.

AP story:
Marti Palermo escapes the Blue Line

Try AOL Employment 9.0! Risk Free!

A recent IM conversation:

7:58:54 PM [el redacto]: aol sent out an email asking for faculty nominations of students to their "project infusion" programm
7:58:57 PM [el redacto]: some CS major thing
7:59:05 PM [el redacto]: so I sent in this

From: "[el redacto]" <[redacto]@prestigious.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:54:37 -0800
To: [redactiva!]@aol.com
Subject: Re: AOL Project Infusion training program invitation

To whom it may concern,

I would like to nominate myself for your program. For years I've been an industry leader with millions of satisfied customers. If you sign me up for the program now I'll even work for 1250 hours free (over the first 2 months). What's more, with a salary of just 50k I can work up to 5 times faster than normal employees!

With all these features and my patented virus protection, how can you say no?

Also, free Black Eyed Peas ringtones.
- [redacto]

My hopes were up that someone there would have a sense of humor.

... I expected too much.

I have photos

For those of you that aren't plan-centric, which is all of you, I've been posting and captioning photos since July. Not on Jeaun-gallery, mind you, but on Snapfish. username is bryandunham at hotmail dot com, pw is india. Prepare for the amazement.

I'm a Racist, You're a Racist

It's racist to use chopsticks in a Thai restaurant.

Discuss.

Heh Heh

Yesterday I heard that Scott Strapp got his ASS BEAT by 311. I did a little search on this just now and, unfortunately, I can't come up with any pages that discuss the topic besides message boards and illegitimate news sources. Everything I've been glancing at says that Scott Strapp sucker-punched one of the 311 boys and that was what started the "brawl." Either way this is hilarious. Everyone giggle. Giggle a lot. I actually giggle whenever I hear either the name "Scott Strapp" or "311." Oh my god I can't stop laughing.

It just keeps ticking on

So I'm 13 days from my glorious return to Chicago. I have a list of things I intend to do that normally might seem quite boring and commonplace. In light of my extended absence these things have taken on new significance as the little things that make me love Chicago. On my return, I will(In no particular order):

1)Take a bike ride with my horn-helmet and most likely yell at some cars (think of it as therapy)
2)Eat breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe
3)Appreciate the non-touching panhandling style of the Chicago bum
4)Go see Millenium Park, touch the Bean
5)Go see some rock shows, hopefully Built To Spill on the 8th
6)Drink a really good margarita (they just don't cut it here)
7)Hang out with my friends
8)Finish painting my apartment
9)Eat lunch at the Grand Lux
10)Join a gym near 909
11)Take a bath (not that I haven't been clean here, they just only have showers and I like to be lazy and wallow in my own filth when I'm cleaning myself)
12)Find an Aikido dojo and start taking lessons
13)Eat lunch at a variety of tasty restaurants
14)Ponder getting a haircut but not actually get one
15)Go talk to my tattoo artist about a new design I came up with
16)Go to Ikea and buy new furniture all the while complaining about consumerism
17)Buy a TV and bathe in its comforting blue glow
18)Do everything in Chicago that I enjoy (this one could take some time and is open to interpretation)
This is not a complete list. And nothing you can do to me will get you the full list. Its classified.

Portait of the Artist as a lazy blogger

So I haven't updated this in a while. I've got a few random thoughts to share with everyone.
I should be returning to the US on October 3rd and I'll be taking that week off to visit friends and family and breathe in the fresh air of freedom that pervades the entire United States.
I've come to some conclusions while here in India:
1)Feathers can almost defy gravity. I watched a feather basically levitate in the same position vertically twirling around for 5 minutes.
2)Sometimes when you've had too much to drink you might find it funny to impersonate Calamity Jane from Deadwood and call everyone that comes into your drunken visual field a cocksucker. While this is incredibly amusing to you, others find it funny only in the sense that you're making an ass of yourself, cocksucker. This can only lead people to impersonate your impersonation at a later date when you are sober to remind you that you are indeed an ass.
3)Grandaddy released an EP called "Excerpts from the Diary of Todd Zilla". As always Grandaddy delivers excellent musical delicousness. 'Pull the Curtains' is my favorite track so far. No one here in India will share your delight in this development.
4)The Ranch Potatoes (which sound like Patatas Bravas tapas in the description) at 100 Ft. Boutique Restaurant are in fact never available. Asking the waiter whether its the potatoes, tomatoes, garlic or mayo thats not available does nothing except get you a blank look even if you think its a valid funny question.
5)Playing the "Hey have you heard of xxx band?" game with Indians and most westerners here gets only blank looks. You're so indie it hurts. (But not as indie as Ade).
6)Despite eating prodigious amounts of food both Indian and Western and lifting in the gym almost every day, I've lost 20 pounds. I now weigh in at a whopping 150 lbs. I need new pants.

I'll think of more later...

A damn good book

I finished an amazingly good book last night before I went to bed. It's called Hard-Boiled Wonderland and The End of the World by Haruki Murakami. I picked it up at an interesting Indian bookstore I went to on Saturday. Its a little complex, possibly too smart of a book for me but its very enjoyable and Murakamis writing style is really refreshing. The basic plot revolves around this old man who is doing extensive research into human consciousness. While that may make it sound dry, theres plenty of pop culture references and jokes to keep it rolling along. If you like wierd fiction, I think you'll love it.

The India Grab Bag

Everyone has griped that I don't update this thing enough. It's a fair cop really. The thing is that I don't have internet access in my apartment and until just this week I wasn't in the office all day. Now that I'm in the office each day, I'll try to do an update daily.

Congratulations to my brother Zach and his new bride Tiffany. I wish I could have been at your wedding. Have a great time in Jamaica and may you have many years of happiness together.

I've put up a gallery of some pictures in the jeaun galleries: Check it out http://gallery.jeaun.com/Colin-in-India

Friday night we went out to a place called the Blue Bar at the Taj West End. The Taj West End is a 7 star hotel. I'm not sure what the 6th and 7th star are for, but some people have theorized that the traffic lights are actually set up so that you don't have to wait driving from the airport. It could be a crock of shit, but I'll be gullible about it for now.

I've been to the Blue Bar a couple times, and gotten outrageously drunk each time. Its the only bar around here with Sauza tequila so its tequila shots for all. Its all techno music but I've gotten over that and just gone with it. The other week we were all drinking and our friend Peter comes over to us with one shoe on and a foot print on his shirt and says, "I just got beat up." So we end up milling around and figuring out whether we're going to fight this Indian guys or leave. After much hemming and hawing we ended up leaving. It might have been fun to be in a bar brawl in India, but I guess playing it safe is smarter.

Yesterday I ended up going to the city market with my friends KP, Rick and Vyv and KPs friend Megan. City market is this big structure with a lot of stalls and tiny shops. It was fun even though I ended up not buying anything. I had my eye on some neon flashing icon things of Vishnu and other assorted Hindu dieties. In the sublevel they have an amazing flower marktet. I've never seen so many flowers in one place. They take them and put them into these giant flower ropes. What they uses them for I'm not sure. The strange thing is that when walking around in the flower level, you're basically walking on a big compost heap the entire time. Next time I'll be wearing shoes instead of sandals, but it was ok. After a couple weeks here, you stop worrying about germs and such. Otherwise you'd go nuts.

As I said earlier, all I here in bars and clubs is techno and dance music. We went to a dance club one night and I got down a little. I miss my live rock n' roll in the Chicago bars sooooo much. So I'm just grabbing as much music as I can. I'm currently addicted to "All These Things I've Done" from The Killers off their album "Hot Fuss". I can listen to that song repeatedly, but I'm like that. I usually find an album I love and listen to it again and again for a while and then move on and eventually make a playlist of all my favorites. Ok, that's probably enough rambling for now. Keep it real.

Playing with the beachball

Our formal training here finished last Friday. Now we're officially placed on projects and working. Or at least thats the idea. For the first two days of actual work, I was working on one project, but now I'm on another. Its called beachball and its a project that our Resource Managers (the people who place other people on projects) and financial people use to forecast people needs and income and things like that. I spent all of yesterday just setting up the development environment and getting the code to build on my machine.
Its really exciting to finally be able to say that I'm a professional developer. Sure, I've only been one for 3 days and I have produced nothing at all of value to the team as of yet, but I'm still here doing it.

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