Jeaun Blogs


Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00

If Hillary wins the election, for consistency’s sake, Bill should be referred to as "First Gentleman" and not "First Man." The media needs to start getting this right.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Wait...that was kind of deep....

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00

Possibly the most telling exchange regarding the state of the american media in a long, long time:

O'Reilly: "I'm not a tough guy. This is all an act. I'm sensitive."
Colbert: "If you're an act, than what am I?"
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Beep Boop Beep

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Ten Worst Major Motion Pictures (I saw) in the Last 25 Years

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Inspired by Jake's ten funniest movies list, a prickly permutation...

1) Star Wars: Episode 1
Ruined a wonderful part of my childhood.

2) Star Wars: Episode 2
More egregious than Episode 1 in some very disturbing ways. Feels like: Insult to Injury.

3) Snake Eyes

4) The Lemon Sisters
Simply an awfully boring film. Negates: Enjoyment, good times.

5) Something's Gotta Give
The audience's will to live, in this case.

6) Look Who's Talking Now
The dog.

7) Rocky 5
The Balboas accidentally spend all their money on service robots. Bad guy here is Tommy "the Machine" Gunn. Very annoying that if you dropped the handle you actually would have a cooler name. Note: The trailer for Rocky 6 seems to indicate that the bad guy in that one is named Mason "the Line" Dixon. These guys all luck out with perfect boxing names and feel the need to gild the proverbial lilly.

8) Star Wars Episode 3
Better than Snake Eyes, a few other films.

9) Ali G: Indahouse
"Techmology: What is it?"

10) Joe Dirt
If movies were people, I'd like to shoot this guy.

Feel free to discuss...
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Will It Blend? - Marbles Overboard.

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Will It Blend? - Marbles

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Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Feeling smug, my friends. Feeling smug, I'll confess.

Election Insurrection.
Bye Rummy.
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Backdoor Curveball

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Just this one thing they did....

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Hey, I think the Killers are a pretty decent band...that being"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" is not exactly the best lyric ever...
Categories: Jeaun blogs


Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00

Posts: 7
Registered: 8/28/06
Ignore Member
Episode 36: Tell Him Something Pretty
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 6:10 PM (1455 of 1876)

First time poster here, with an opinion. Just an opinion.

I was very satisfied with the Season/Series Finale of Deadwood last night, in part, because it was the only way it could end.

I don't mean historically, but thematically. Deadwood was always the story of the death of Wild Bill, an allegory for the death of the Wild West. These were the last gasps of the state of nature succumbing to the inevitable organized brutality of capitalism. The interesting question to me, is: Does Deadwood present a cynical or optimistic view of humanity?

On one hand, we can construe Deadwood as a cynical take on humanity, where one outmoded brand of selfishness is replaced by a larger, more efficient one. Al cannot adapt to the gun, just as small business in America today is no match for the Enrons and the Disneys that have subsumed our economy and our democracy. Deadwood was the last place/time in America when there was true freedom - and with that came many pitfalls. Often there would be no reckoning for murders and swindles - and those with the largest fangs would feast first and most - at the expense of the weak. This was the time of Swearengen. In the end, Al and Bullock and Tolliver all realize that the world is not less brutal - but the scale has changed. The illusion of government and representation and law make the most effective mask for tyranny.

Wild Bill was the last example of nobility and decency in this conflicted time. He was brave, virtuous, and free. The spectre of Hickock, seen most clearly through the idealism of Utter, looms large throughout the series, as a beacon of what a free man can be - in a world where the excellence of an individual was an ideal, and would be rewarded. The downside of living in this world, is that it can be random and dangerous and the strongest of people can suffer by the most absurd events. Bill is killed by an imbicile. And that imbicile is set free by a court. With Bill's death, we are left with a bit of an ideological void.

I think that the wonderful choice of casting McCall and Wolcott both with Dilahunt is twofold. One, the man is a magnificent actor. But second, they are interesting counter balances to one another. Both are murderous, but Wolcott wears the fancy suit - the trappings of the "civility," the illusion of order and decency. McCall was a crazed idiot, disheveled, jealous, and wrathful - unable to temper his emotions and ultimately a product of an equally brutal, but perhaps more honest time. This change signals the change in America, and the change in "Deadwood." The elections are fixed, the contracts signed - only under the threat coercion. But nevertheless, there are elections and there are signed contracts. This is new American Way.

Perhaps the more optimistic way of looking at it is, that only through the machinations of giant conglomerates and corporate behemoth can the "small" people develop true unity. Hearst is invincible. The world is run by people like him, and those who refuse to adapt will die. "Deadwood" started as seemingly the story of Bullock vs. Swearengen or Swearengen vs. Tolliver or Bullock and Swearengen against the Pinkertons - none of these is ultimately the true dichotomy. It is Deadwood vs. Hearst. And in the end, they are finally united...if only in their defeat.

Al's final act of cleaning up his own mess is something that Hearst would never do. It is noble and heart wrenching. An anachronism.

This is how it should end, because that's what the series was about. That's what the historical Deadwood was about. The death of the Wild West at the hands of the capitalist.

Edited by aleceiffel at 08/28/2006 3:12 PM
Categories: Jeaun blogs

1000 Drunken Nerds

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00

Apple was giving out one free macbook an hour to celebrate the opening of the new store on 59th street.

The plan was was obvious: We would go out, entrench ourselves in the usual Friday night imbibery and head over to glass cube at the latest possible moment. We got there at 3:30 AM, and entered in the drawing. The logic was that it would be the least crowded at that absurd hour.

Man, were we wrong.

Look at all these nerds at 3:45AM on a Friday!

Adam liked the form factor of the new macbook, but wasn't feeling "the spacing of the keys." It had nothing to do with the Malibu.

We didn't win the 4AM drawing, but this guy did.

And that was pretty gratifying too.

This is Sascha. She's the first dog ever in the Apple Store.
Categories: Jeaun blogs


Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
I've come across a couple of "inside baseball" songs and felt that some posting was in order. I love the idea of making a song that is so esoteric most people can't relate to it. This blog is probably a good example of that philosophy. Wadsbone pointed out that the blogsmagoria probably only makes sense to about 20 people in the world. I've noticed that when I put stuff here - I'm usually aiming the entry a few specific people. Except for the post about the giant rabbits. That weas really just for me.

So, these are both essentially songs about careers, which makes them a little broader in audience. And quite a bit more inspired.

The first is by a fella named Jonathan Coulton, an extremely prolific musician with a philosophy of generosity. Coulton embraces the Public Commons rationale of giving away as much music as possible as a means of gaining exposure. "Code Monkey" is a product of his "Thing a Week" project, which is basically a public committment to get some new music on his website every Friday. This particular jam is a little Reverend Lovejoy if you ask me. Plus, Coulton's a huge geek. And geeks are meek and the meek inherit mad shit.

I can't trace the origin of Rough Cut Lady, but this one is definitely about my biz. I'm considering annotating it like NPR did with the Hold Steady. But, it's a real pant-pisser - you'll have to take my word for it until then.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Weekend in Vegas: More than the Sum of its Parts

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
The funny thing about Vegas is that it really feels the way you expect it to. It's a place you would never want to be alone. Luckily, I was surrounded by my favorite people - which made it pretty goddamn amazing. People have been asking about the whole experience since I got back - and I'm weary of anecdoting. Besides, I'm sure Jake will have some substance on the matter.

How to talk about it? I would just refer the inquisitive to the following chart:

Chris Graver is the coolest cat in the world. The wedding is in a few weeks - look for a new chart then.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Pulling Rank

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
"Let's not bend over backwards," blurted Boyd. "Let's not make any accommodations or compromises at this stage of the game. We need to reign this whole thing in, boys." Gesture. Shrug. "Batten down the hatches and whatnot."

Chester, as usual, pretended to disagree: "I like an aggressive stance, by contrast." He did not look like a man who liked stances in general.

"I feel, Mr. Sweeney, that sometimes you tend to be obstructionist because you enjoy the sexual rush of being a contrarian," Bloodshot Boyd shot back.

"The Devil, no doubt, needs representation vis a vie mortal advocacy from time to time, no?," Chester said, as he spotted a hanging booker out of the corner of his contact, in the nasal cavity of his colleague.

"Let's not make it a policy to insist on such positions." Boyd was badly bloodshot and covered in dry mucus. "These types of policies are objectionable because they are both corrosive to the unit, and also, because they are driven by sexual needs."

"It's not a sexual thing, Boyd. It's a thing about being thorough. Review all options, that sort of thing."

"So...Sodomy? What are we even talking about right now? What's your rank, Sweeney?," asked Bloodshot

"You know my rank, you gave it to me, remember...In June...Outside..."

"...In the yard, yes...Flowering trees everywhere - pinks."

"So my rank..." Chester got his eyebrows primed in pre-arched phase - a new expression that he was using lately. It had replaced the full-arched eyebrow in many circumstances, and it was on the verge of winning the war of sublety versus obviousness being waged on his face these days.

"Yes, you hold the rank of lieutenant. But I was enjoying one of the latitudes my superior standing in the unit affords me, Swee-swee. A rhetorical question. I feel free to pose rhetorical questions at will. You would agree, that's afforded, at least?"

"aggressive is fine, really. We can do that." Upbeat: " Allocate, allocate allocate!" Chester Sweeney didn't know what he meant by this, but he knew it would get a smile. It's easy to abandon a position when merely pretending.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

People Holding Giant Rabbits!

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00

Categories: Jeaun blogs

I found my passport

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
So, I don't drive. Which means, of course, I have no license to drive. And because I haven't had a state ID since I used to kick it in the IA, my wallet-sized identification options are currently nil. I use my passport and rock it always in my starboard/aft pant pocket. So I just went ahead and lost it. How could I, right? Well, I'd like to answer with a quote from the 1997 Sean Connery adventure-epic with a side of Bracco. That's right, Medicine Man.

Dr. Robert Campbell (SC) : I've found the cure to the plague of the 2oth century and now I've lost it!
Dr. Rae Crane (Dr. Melfi): What?

OK, where were we? The passport. So I went to the knob jobs at the DMV and they told me that I should go F myself. Then I went to the right C's at the Social Security Department and they recommended that I might be better off accepting the fact that I am a loser, and that I should go F myself. Then, I called the passport agency and the automated menu lady told me to "F yourself press one." The whole thing was awful, but I ended up finding it in my corduroys in my hamper.

So i wrote a song about the good part of the day.

You can get it here.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Real or not Real?

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Adrienne and I have been recovering from our recent "Flavor of Love" problem with the methadone we call "Deal or no Deal." This new steaming pile of lighting effects and random guessing surely denotes the final victory of form over content. But what can one expect from a Howie Mandel vehicle? In any case, 80 and I have given up on following the "game" itself - by creating a new challenge: Real or not Real.

For the uninitiated, DOND features 26 models who open metal briefcases with money in them.* Each night, they all wear matching dresses that they clearly purchased at Revealmart - and coo and clap and look sad sometimes when their briefcase contains an unwelcome dollar amount for the idiot contestant.** Anyway - 80 and I look beyond the briefcase to answer the true question. Here are some samples so you can play along:


Not Real?

Just another reason to watch the show on the mute.

*actually, a card that denotes a dollar amount.
** One thing that makes me really fill up with blinding rage is when they peek into the briefcase before displaying it. Just for some reason - I get nuts. The first photo in this entry is of Lindsay C., who is the most egregious employer of this tactic, and frankly, I'd like to see her killed in a future episode.
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Couldn't do it

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
I just couldn't. Sorry folks. But, I'm sure the Oscars were great. So here's a picture of an alpaca:

Categories: Jeaun blogs


Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
For my birthday, the brilliant duo of Lexi and Mary decided we should all sleep together at lunch. At Metronaps, that is. If you're bored of paying for water and can't wait until you can pay for air, Metronaps fills the void, by allowing you to purchase another small unit of basic life function. Metronaps, located in the Empire State Building, is basically a room filled with single-occupancy, sleeping "pods." You pay for a 20 minute session, where you lie down in an expensive hi-tech chair a nap. It's awesome, and I think I slept.

Categories: Jeaun blogs

Some thoughts on Star Trek - a developing list

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
- It's funny the way Gene Roddenberry was really uncreative in his naming of the character "Scotty"
- The costume designer on "The Next Generation" should be shot. Everytime someone stands up, they have to pull their shirt down in a deeply inelegant manner.
- So, you can break a human being down to molecules and reassemble him thousands of miles away in a matter of seconds, but we can't get that guy some fucking eyes? Just transport someone else's eyes into his head!
-Why aren't there more dudes with wings?
-A Ship's counselors should not be an empath. Hasn't anyone in starfleet heard of countertransference? Hello?
Categories: Jeaun blogs

Nacho Madness!

Blogsmagoria - Fri, 06/29/2007 - 20:00
Some foods are considered highly sharable, when they should not be. The worst offender here are nachos. This is an awful food to split among folks because there is little consistancy throughout any given serving. In other words, there are places that are loaded with cheese, sour cream, and what have you, and other places where the nachos are so dry, its like they came right from a tostito bag. Nachos change state throughout any given sitting such that they begin as finger food, and really end up being more appropriate for a knife and fork. I know that nobody does that, but let's face it, if endgame nachos* were served initially, nobody would even consider them a finger food in the first place. But the state change is so severe, that these bastards come at you like a french fry - perfect for a manual pluck and eat, and devolve to something that resembles the inside of a burrito. AND YET, hungry co-eaters will brazenly try the manual pluck-and-eat without so much as a batted eyelash, because of the absurd cultural acceptance we have for such an action. Could you imagine eating aburrito and having someone stick their fingers into the bowels of said meal, drawing out a pinch of the middle, and eating that? Same thing. Horrid. All I'm suggesting is, let's not let nachos fool us, as a culture, anymore. This food is not sufficently share-y and luckily for us the constitution has that elasticty clause which says that when we realize that we have been miscategorizing a food as a shareable one, we can legally correct it.

*Mushy, undifferentiated,
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